Brands should spice it up a little… Aren’t we all sick of the same old silly Spots and Slogans?
Coke – “Open Happiness” … “Together is Beautiful” .. gag me with a spoon! How’s about we steal Samuel L Jackson from those dreadful Capital One ads and make him the Coke spokesperson – “Drink this Mutherf**ker!!” Yeah… now that’s good. Is there anybody who can say that word better !?
McDonalds – change “I’m Lovin’ it” to “I’m Gettin’ fat!”
Chick-fil-a, part 1: Killer Cows – Cows need to become bloody slaughterhouse victims, meandering along in a nightmare spot that haunts meat eaters. Participating in the inhumane treatment of fellow mammals gets you eaten alive by the Zombie Cows unless you change your ways and eat birds only.
Chick-fil-a, part 2: The chickens come home to roost! – What, it’s OK to slice the throat of a chicken but not a cow!? In this spot, genetically modified ‘super-chickens’ enslave all cows of the planet earth. As the chickens live like kings, they taunt the cows by eating medium rare cheeseburgers and drinking milk. Tagline: “Chicken Rules!”
Taco Bell – it’s time to feature the best pound for pound boxer who ever live in a Taco Bell spot. “No Ma’s” he pleads, as he gorges himself on Taco Bell that’s too good to stop eating.
Budweiser – “Get plastered!”
Apple – replace “Think Different” with “NO need to Think”. We’re all suggestible puppets anyway. Whatever is on TV becomes part of our DNA.
MasterCard – “There’s very little credit cards can’t buy. For everything else, there’s suicide”. Basically what they are saying is that money buys happiness and if you look anywhere outside of material items for salvation you’re not going to find it, get depressed and hang yourself. So, be sure and buy things you can’t afford…. lots of ’em.
BMW – “The ultimate chick magnet.”
Dunkin Donuts – “Fueling the Insanity”. You see, America’s are manic insomniac, frenetic workaholics …and D+D wants to help.
Verizon – “Can you hear me now? Good. Then stop calling me and text me like everyone else!! Who uses the voice feature anymore?!”
State Farm – “Neighbors vary by Neighborhood. If you have a good one, that’s like us. If you have a miserable scoundrel, think of another insurance company.
