Imagine you’re a bird. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “How can these people seriously say with a straight face that they are ‘tweeting’?! I thought I was the birdbrain…”
65 million years ago Earth stepped into the path of a screaming mountain of interstellar space rock which set forth a series of uncountable improbable events that resulted in the dumbest mammal to ever walk on 2 legs (that would be us).
Birds are direct descendants of the leather skinned monsters called Dinosaurs that fascinate us to this day. People are direct descendants of the timid little creatures that lived in burrows scared shitless of Dinosaurs. Luckily for us, living in a deep dirt hole is beneficial in times when the surface of the earth gets scorched and turned into a blazing hellhole.
If things were reversed, just imagine, and enormous giant mammals roamed the earth 65 million years ago and Dinosaurs were the tiny little timid critters, the event that tipped fate in our favor would have done so for them instead. Then perhaps today there would be an intelligent race of lizards (think Sleestaks from Land of The Lost) who created the internet along with an app called “Squeak”.
Twitter, as you know, is used for short communication bursts by people who love to hear themselves talk even though nobody cares about what they have to say.
‘Squeak’ would be different. The logo would be a cute little rodent… a hamster maybe, and it would be used by the Sleestaks to speak in uplifting and intelligent prose. With each ‘squeak’, society benefited. ‘Squeaking’ was positive, thoughtful, educational, selfless, constructive and helpful.
…..maybe we ought to crawl back into a hole and give the birds a try.
Check out AlternateHistoryHub for a quick lesson on the actual and alternate timeline.
