At the tender age of 245, she’s starting to go a little Batty.
But nonetheless living in America has still got it’s benefits. Let’s celebrate and be as social as possible in three Dimensional Space. Put down the iPhone. Have a few cold ones. Cuddle up with your sweetie and watch some fireworks. Fire Up the Weber! Just try not to stuff yourself silly. Eat more chicken, you’ll feel better later (you’re welcome Chick-fil-a). If you’re traveling, make sure to pack your patience and not run one another off the road. If you’re staying local, be proud to be part of your community (and shut the music off after 11PM). Get your car washed and cruise around w/ windows down blasting your favorite album from high school. When the cranky lame-o at the red light gives you a nasty scowl, just smile big and wave. This weekend is for us…U.S.; the greatest country in the Milky Way. If a kid asks you to buy him some beer, you better do it! How do you think you became such a degenerate?! American Pie…. If that movie is on, watch it, Gift the dessert, Listen to the song! Pool party?…wear your favorite sunscreen. I prefer Neutrogena Ultra Sheen body mist. Learn how to make Jell-O shots and watch your popularity soar! Crank some country music, even if it’s not usually your thing; it sounds better on the 4th of July. Please don’t do anything stupid. Safety first. Keep a close eye on the kids and for God sake leave the fireworks to your nutty brother in law. Shoot some hoop. Toss around the ol’ pig skin. Get in a little Kan Jam. Ride a wave. Smoke a stogie. Become a Beer Pong Champion! Watch a Ball game. If work crosses your mind, make a margarita. Better yet – make two, give them both away….then make one for yourself. This weekend is ONE BIG BASH. Everyone will be doing pretty much the exact same thing, so try to abstain from the selfies; we get it – you’re eating and drinking and having a good time.
It’s been a rough year. We need a break. We need each other. This weekend we get both.
BTW – as a major influencer, I get a dime for every click on any of the aforementioned brands, so share this on social ; )
