You know it’s really cool and you think computers are involved. The young spry good looking fancy pants at the office won’t shut up about it and tosses around acronyms that make you feel sad and depressed because clearly you’re an idiot about to get canned! Programmatic is growing fast. How fast? This year, eFarketer has estimated that US Advertisers will spend 100 Billion Dollars. That sure sounds like a lot! So if you find yourself wondering if your living in a nightmare where dorks are schooling you and your arms are paralyzed despite the impulse to pound on them like an out of its mind chimpanzee monkey, we at MBD PMPU have put together this quick and easy reference guide:
What is programmatic?
Programmatic is where ads are bought just like products on eBay! Except that ads are not products. And eBay is a bad example because eBay sells things of value to people and digital display ads are for the most part valueless and in many cases do more harm than good. Also, eBay is not infested with fraudulent burglars. Other than that it’s just like buying stuff on eBay!
What does programmatic look like?
Programmatic looks like the Cookie Monster only optimized aesthetically to your liking (which for most people is just like the Cookie Monster we all know, because he looks fine the way he is and needs no aesthetic optimization). Imagine the Cookie Monster was able to take 25 tera-bites of chocolate chip cookies that represented some 50 billion actual chocolate chips (assuming an avg of 2 chips per bite) and over 225 cookie brands – that’s more than a dozen cookie factories and 6000 employees serving 1 monster demand.
Is programmatic the same as RTB? What is RTB?
No stupid. RTB is a technological solution that addresses the vast fragmentation of digital media. It’s a “solution” in that it takes an awful advertising medium and makes it barley viable. Without it, you would be shot dead for wasting time and money. At least with RTB, you can save time and create the illusion that you are saving money.
What’s the cost structure? Does premium play a part?
It costs whatever money you have to buy it. No budget is too small. Premium?! Please… Not to worry. The interweb is jam packed with premium content channels (porn is premium, right?).
What are the obstacles to making everything programmatic?
Only educating those who are clueless to the wonders of programmatic stand in the way of its world domination. Those closed minded fools who lack a willingness to take human evolution to the next level will eventually be converted or pushed aside by a higher race of “Proto Progro-manoids”.
How does creativity fit into this world?
It doesn’t. Programmatic is to creativity what the Cookie Monster is to cookies. Chomp chomp chomp chomp…
When is programmatic buying coming to television?
Although programmatic TV accounts for less than 1% of total TV expenditure today, eFarketer predicts 99% of TV will be programmatic by the year 15,979.
