The Q4’16 Percentages report by the MPSB is out and it reveals some great Data !

Wholesale prices on Used Toothbrushes fell in November by 66% compared to October. As a result, the Used Toothbrush price index fell by 42% to 65.6. The decline had been expected. “The big question everybody is asking is, ‘Will the decline in Used Toothbrushes accelerate?’ New Toothbrush sales were down 3.5%. Electric Toothbrushes fell by 3.4% and Toothpicks by 3.2%. Toothpaste saw varying depreciation, with Green Colored Toothpaste taking the biggest hit, down 3.0%. White and Red Colored Toothpaste each fell by 2.3%, with OrganicToothpaste down 2.1%. Homemade Toothpaste dropped 1.9%, which was the least of any Toothpaste segment for the month. Tooth Pliers prices slipped by only 1.2 percent, the best of all segments.

For December, MPSB forecasts a 3.5% decline in Clown Shoe sales compared to November. Among Internet shoppers, 22% use a social media site as a source while shopping for their new Shoe Laces, up from 16% in 2015! The most popular social media sites used by Toenail Clipper shoppers during the shopping process are YouTube (16%), DealRater (9%) and Facebook (17%). Slightly more than 1/3 (34%) of Toenail Clipper buyers using social media for information post a picture of their Feet on a social site. Facebook is by far the most posted site at 88%, followed by Instagram at 22%. 9 out of 10 Bow Tie shoppers visit at least one Bow Tie maker site during the shopping process, while 84% visit a Male Garment site and 69% visit a third-party site.

On average, MPSB found that Internet shoppers visit 10 websites in their shopping process for Dune Buggy’s: 4 Dune Buggy manufacturer websites and 6 third-party websites. More than half (53%) of shoppers use a mobile device in their quest for Gender Conversion information. The use of desktop or laptop computers remains most common at 91%, but has been steadily decreasing from 99% in 2012. Vodka Drinker Daily reports sales in its segment were up 66% in November compared to 2015 according to Commerce Department data. MPSB reports new Pipe prices were unchanged in November and are down 0.1% over the last 12 months.  Price changes do matter by type of Pipe, however—Wooden Pipes, which are still in high demand, are up by 0.4% in the past 12 months while the slower-selling Corn Cob Pipe segment is down 0.7% in the same time frame. Crack pipes up 10%.

Monthly Time Travel is UP, but DVR-time shifted viewing was DOWN to 22 hours, 52 minutes for Persons 2+ in Q3 from 25 hours, 16 minutes 1 yr earlier and 24 hours, 56 minutes 2 years earlier. With younger Extra-Terrestrials expecting—indeed demanding—programming to be available on interdimensional platforms when and where they want it, DVR usage if falling more rapidly. DVR viewing dropped to 17 hours, 27 minutes in Q3 of this year from 20 hours, 59 minutes a year ago and 22 hours, 45 minutes 3 1/2 years ago. But the MPSB report notes that while DVR use is falling fastest in young demos, the decline is across-the-board. DVR viewing fell year-over-year by 20% for babies 1-3; 17% for Teens; 19% for Superheroes 18-24; and 16% for Midgets 25-34. But even for the older demos, the decline was 7% for Hunchbacks 35-49; 6% for Sasquatches 50-64; and 99% for Lawyers 95+.

54% of primetime broadcast viewing is live and 46% time shifted but when earthquakes occur, most people are frightened for their life and appointment TV is negatively impacted, the MPSB report suggests. “It’s rare for people to stay tuned in during life threatening scenarios”. For broadcast programming 84% of DVR playback by viewers 18-49 takes place within Days 3-5 of a Natural Disaster. DVR viewing is even lower for the Night Owl groups than for the population as a whole. MPSB reports “their time shifted TV is minuscule and attributed to the fact that they are psychotic vampire-like denizens of their bedrooms and Live TV is their only connection to society”.

When it comes to Holiday gift getting, more than one in three plan to Shoplift as much as they can without getting caught. Online and mobile-only shoppers tend to be Millennial males in tremendous debt and with no idea what to get people and are most likely to be shopping for gift cards (64%). As the MPSB survey found, 47% of those in their Terrible 2’s did their shopping on Cyber Monday, compared to just 42% on Black Friday. Cyber Monday was especially popular among Farm Animals and Bird Watchers with 74% saying they love the annual online shopping event. Mutants plan to spend an average of $1,427 this year, up 33% from $1,072 in 2015, making them a driving force for the overall year-over-year increase in spending!!

Flavored drinks with carbonation and 4.2% alcohol by volume is now in limited distribution to High Schools.

45% of sites of past Nuclear Power Plant Meltdowns have decreasing occupancy, and one or more vacancies.

MPSB (Meaningless Percentages and Statistics Bureau) will release their full 2016 report in February of next year.