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Super Bowl ads in recent years have been so, shall I say, blasé.

The stage had become too big for the meek who do not dare take any creative risk. This year, I saw a lot of repurposing old idea from the past; Doritos taking a page out of the Bud-Wies-Er frogs. Silverado associating themselves with the Jersey mob. Fuhgeddaboudit! Barbie Dolls, talking babies. Yawn…

Toyota kicked it off with a pair of brothers, one blind, and their remarkable journey to gold medal glory in the Paralympics. “That was a great commercial”, my wife said. I said, no, “their story is great”. Why I should go run out and buy a Toyota still escapes me, unless of course I’m ready to “start my impossible”. My kids loved the Dolly Parton commercial of all things. The silliness of it was kind of cute, I guess. From there it pretty much dropped more vertically than the Alpine Ski slope at the Winter Games. Bud Light asked the same question 10 times. Polestar, if we wanted to read, we wouldn’t be watching TV. Seems the crypto market, tied to positive sentiment, tried to drum some up. Then with perhaps the most galactically stupid waste of $13 million, Coinbase bounced a QR code around the screen for :60 like the Atari Pong game. For those that bothered to fumble their phones with buffalo-sauced fingers and chase it around the screen, they were presented with this message – “Get $15 in free Bitcoin for signing up. Plus, a chance to win $3 million prizes!” More of a letdown then when Ralphie’s little Orphan Annie decoder pin cracked the top-secret code, only to have it read “Drink more Ovaltine” in A Christmas Story. I know, I know, but MBD, now everybody knows Coinbase. Right, and now they think it’s the other gambling app besides Draft Kings to advertise during the Super Bowl.

The company formerly known as Facebook, who once scoffed at TV, continues to write blank checks to convince everyone they’ve … changed.

The Turbotax commercial was hijacked by Dr. Strange. Seth Rogen married a malevolent entity… oh btw, anyone want a potato chip? The 3 things Sales force wanted us to remember were Trees, Trust and Space. Got it, and now I will forget it, thank you.

All this in just the first half. After that, with each commercial break I just got up and wandered around the house eating inanimate objects… Uber Eats said it was ok