There’s a can of Chock full o’Nuts in my cupboard at home right now. It is filled not with Nuts, but with coffee. Who doesn’t know this? Apparently everyone outside of New York. In their push to go national there’s been confusion over the actual product due to its name.. kind of like ‘Muscle Milk’ which contains no milk. If you have a nut allergy or are lactose intolerant, it is ok to put Muscle Milk in your Chock full o’Nuts! (Sounds like a good pre-work out)
“No nuts” and “100 percent premium coffee” appeared on Chock full o’Nuts cans several months ago as part of a subtle redesign of the label. The New York skyline was redrawn, showing the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building illuminated, as at dawn, when the sun is coming up and people are padding into their kitchens, desperate for a jolt. Dennis Crawford, the senior marketing manager for Chock full o’Nuts called it “the moment of benefit.” Ahh, only a CMO would say something so, um, batshit.
Another brilliant insight comes from James Watson, the senior beverage analyst for Rabobank. “Consumers are going for natural, authentic and transparent beverages. If you think about it from the consumer side, there’s very little we know about a lot of brands other than what’s facing us on the shelf, so to communicate what’s in there, this kind of explicit messaging could be very important.”
Maybe that’s why bottled water is so popular…because it’s THE MOST transparent. But what I really think he’s trying to say in layman terms is … ADVERTISE !!!!
So we at the MBD Creative Services Department have written a commercial just for Chock full o’Nuts. Put this :30 bad boy smack dab in the middle of the Super Bowl and .. Voila! Problem solved.
Shooting Location: Anywhere USA
Director: Marketing Blog Dr.
Actors: Anywhere USA Married Couple
Camera inside modern day kitchen, early morning. Dopey, disheveled man lumbers into the kitchen. As he pokes around for something to eat he hears his wife call down from upstairs.
Woman: Honey did you make coffee?!
Man: No but I will sweetheart.
Man looks through a few cabinets before grabbing what he thinks is a coffee can. He calls up to his wife.
Man: Sweetie I can ‘t find the coffee. All I see is this can of nuts that looks like a can of coffee.
Woman: That’s the coffee, you idiot!
Man: But it says Chock full o’Nuts on the outside. How can it be coffee if it says its nuts?
Woman: You are one stupid son of a bitch, you know that?! You see how it says “Heavenly Coffee”?! Or “New York’s Coffee since 1932”?!
Man: but Baby I….
Woman: Or how it says “No Nuts” on the side. Or, how’s about you peel off the top and take a look for yourself you worthless, dumb, dense, simple, empty headed, putz, moron!?!
Man: Well how was I supposed to know?! I’ve never seen any kind of explicit messaging for this product!! I’m making it now. Please stop yelling at me, I have a headache!
Woman: Sorry honey. I Love you!
Or better yet they should just re-air this 1981 spot. Warning, you may experience shock and disbelief that there was ever a time where a society considered this normal..
